Tuesday, August 09, 2011 / 3:30 PM

I've been on my bed since I woke up at 0900 just now. Yup, certified pig.

Cooped up in these 5 walls. Not actually giving a rat's ass about anything outside this fortress of solitude of mine. It actually felt good.

Until a thought struck me -_-


Being enough.

Firstly, I firmly believe there is no such thing as the right amount of anything.

Secondly and most honestly, I usually give up at being. You know why? Because to me enough can never be attainable. Well, truly attainable that is.

Lastly, is being enough actually mandatory? If we were not enough for someone, could we be standing there in the first place?

I think enoughness(I totally made that word up, but you should get it) is like hunger.

Sure, a cheeseburger for lunch with a side of fries and mash potatoes and a large coke will suffice........ until your tummy starts performing a drum riff from Lamb of God's Black Label, screaming for Dinner.

Perhaps you'll eat more then, perhaps you'll upsize the whole meal for dinner!

In other words, we'll have our fill of enough. Sooner or later, some incident or some random thought may drive us to reevaluate this state of comfort of having the satisfying amount of something. Usually happens when we've been offered more. More than what we usually get.




Then, I came to a conclusion. I'll throw in an analogy too.

Perhaps being enough for someone is like climbing Mount Everest. Treacherous terrains in a form of doubts or someone else doing a better job at it. Climbing though, not as a challenge or a dare or for a hobby. You're climbing Mount Everest because you are eager to, eager to meet someone special at the peak. When you do(hopefully or eventually), this union to you would mean that you've proven yourself. At the summit, you'll look into this person's eyes. You'll stare into them hard till they'll know you'd be saying......

"You know what, I rocked that huge piece of triangular stone for you. Not only for you though, for my very own self as well. That I'm willing to put myself through all that for another human being. Not just any human being but this human being that I'm looking at right now."

But guess what?

The escapade, the frost bites and you braving the blizzards will all be transparent. The person will never really know the depth that you went into to achieve, being enough. Perhaps to them it would still be insufficient. For all you know, when you finally take the last step towards reaching the peak, you might see them already looking into somebody else's eyes.

Which concludes........

It is possible to be enough, however it is impossible to stay enough.




Save yourself the heartbreak.
Get off at being, we shouldn't be driven to prove ourselves like that.

Do your best, hope for better.

Raise your hands and pray to Allah that they will open up to you for a very long time so you have that long to show them that you just simply care... and that if they could feel how you actually feel about them, then maybe, just maybe staying enough could happen.





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